5 Benefits of Having a Friends With Benefits by Evann Specht

            The term “friends with benefits” has many connotations and different boundaries on what is and is not aloud depending on the two partners and circumstances in which the relationship is formed. Although there are multiple forms of  “friends with benefits”, the frequently used term, especially in the college world is usually associated with the other term “no string attached”, referring to the ability and consensus of two people to have a purely sexual relationship without regards to any emotional attachment during this sexual relationship other then there purely friendship relationship.

            Bisson and Levine’s study in 2007, found that 60% of college students participate in this type of relationship. An overwhelming 81% of college students reported to believe that this type of relationship, and ability to not grow emotional attachment to the sexual partner is completely possible, only when they previously have had this type of relationship; while 67% were weary and unsure about the success of this relationship if they have never previously had a “friends with benefits” type of relationship with the opposite sex.

                        The Huffington Post’s article, “5 Benefits of Having a Friends With Benefits”, by D. A Wolf posed the question of what actually are the true benefits of this type of relationship, and is this a phase that women and men go through at a young age (usually during collegiate years) to avoid emotional attachment and commitment or is it healthy for older men and women to participate in this kind of relationship. This article also argues not only that this term has gravitated towards a young, vulnerable, “bad rap” due to its high use during college relationships, but that this relationship may be best for “transitioning divorced mothers” says, D.A Wolf as she list her top 5 benefits of a friends with benefits relationship:

1.     “You have a friend – and friendship matters”: this benefit is the key concept behind this relationship. After going through a tough transition, whether it is during our younger years or during a time of divorce, everyone needs and craves attention from their friends, especially from the opposite sex. Having someone you already have fun with, can laugh with and distract you from the troubling time is extremely helpful.

2.     “Sex has its Perks”: Wolf describes this benefit to have the ability to aid you to discover “your newly single sexual self part” as part of the process of getting over a tough break up, divorce or fear of commitment. Reassuring your sexual self after a tough break up or event is most people’s medicine towards accepting the situation and moving on. Enjoy the flirtatious jolt you get and just go with is, Wolf recommends.

3.     “You can (and should!) Practice safe sex”: Wolf explains, as she is a mother you should out of respects towards your own body and your children (if you have any) should practice safe sex. This also goes for college students. A true “friends with benefits” partner is not a stranger and not a one-night stand.

4.     “It’s a good way to experiment”: Test what your comfortable with if you haven’t in any of your previous romantic emotional relationships. You should be comfortable with your “friends with benefit” partner so this shouldn’t be a problem.

5.     “Freedom!” : Wolf’s last benefit in her piece is the concept of  freedom. I believe that many people misconstrued some women’s’ thoughts on relationships and need to have someone in their life and look past their want to have freedom without the responsibility and standards of withholding a relationship. Many people link this need and want towards men’s tendencies but this is not true. After a break up in college, divorce or any other heart breaking event, having the extra responsibility of keeping track of someone else other then yourself and providing for their needs can be exhausting and make the recover time longer and more difficult.

Likewise to the article, “5 Benefits of Having a Friends With Benefits”, Bisson and Levine’s study found the same advantages as Wolf had talked about. So, What do you guys think of a “friends with benefits” relationship?