Online dating: good or bad?

Heather Buechner

2/12/15

Online dating is a new phenomenon, and at first it was frowned down upon by society, and shows like Catfish came out. The assumption was that if you meet someone online, they are not going to be who they say they are. However, a lot more people have been meeting online recently, and contrary to popular belief, a lot of these relationships actually work out. I read an article from Vogue about online dating, and Kerry Diamond talked about the embarrassment that comes along with telling people that her and her husband met online. Although, nowadays do we really need a fancy love story about the day you met your significant other? What does it matter if you met him online if you and him have a healthy relationship? Kerry Diamond told us in this article about her success story with her husband Robert, who she almost didn’t give him a chance because his profile said he was a chef. (Apparently her best friend had a bad experience dating a chef and that meant all chefs are jerks) But, he was tall and had good taste in music, so she gave it a shot, and it was definitely worth it. In my opinion, one of the biggest benefits of dating online is that you meet a lot of people online that you would have never had the chance to meet them in real life. 

One of the downfalls, however, is that you might meet a lot of weird people online before you meet someone that’s actually good for you. Emily Holt tells us in the article in Vogue about some of her horror stories. Once, she got an email from a guy that read: “I find girls that do not shave their armpits attractive. Is that something you do or would be willing to do from time to time if we hit it off?” Of course she didn’t go out with him, but this shows us that you have to sift through a lot of strange guys online before you get a good one. Emily Holt had another bad experience meeting someone online, as well; with someone she actually went on a date with. In this situation, his profile looked perfect, and he was just the perfect amount of flirtatious, so she obviously out with him. Her expectations were let down, though, because as soon as they met, after he kissed her on the cheek, he said he had answer a phone call… and never came back. 

One of the biggest downfalls of meeting people online is that you never know what to expect. Especially because you can only show so much of yourself on a profile, so you’re bound to be different in real life, and this can be a disappointment to some people. When creating an identity online, you can choose what pictures to share of yourself, and you can choose what things you would like to share about yourself. (You probably wouldn’t put your bad habits or bad personality traits on your profile) This process is called identity play. This can be a good thing, but also a bad thing as well. Like I said, when you meet someone in real life after meeting them online they could potentially be a lot different than you thought. However, if you have been communicating with them for a while, you might be accepting of these differences. It is exciting meeting someone for the first time after talking with him or her online. In fact, I have done it myself. In high school, I met someone online, and we talked for about a month until we finally met. In my experience, I would have to agree with what one of the women said in the documentary we watched, you really do fall in love with that person twice: once while talking to them online, and again when you meet them in person. When you’re messaging an individual online, or even talking to them on the phone or over video chat, you do get to know their tone of voice, or their personality through what they’re saying, but you have to fill in the holes that are missing with your imagination. Then, once you finally meet them, you get to fill in those holes that were missing before, and a lot of that is done through nonverbal communication that you were lacking before. Online dating definitely has its benefits and downfalls, but I think that’s what makes it so exciting.

http://www.vogue.com/873061/she-said-she-said-the-pros-and-cons-of-online-dating/