Friday, February 13, 2015

Flaws of Online Dating

     The notion of online dating is highly controversial with very polarizing views about it.  Although some people do find their one true love, this is not the case for everyone.  Jesse Singal of The Science of Us wrote an article called "The Weaknesses of Online Dating," that really uncovers all of the flaws associated with this quickly growing trend. (http://nymag.com/scienceofus/2014/07/weaknesses-of-online-dating.html) She explains how a major review was done on the topic and it concluded that "[M]any aspects of online dating do not appear to improve romantic outcomes and might even undermine them."  Many small reasons reasons for this were described, the first of which being that perusing through all of those profiles causes one to make very judgemental evaluations of complete strangers which has been shown to "cognitively overwhelm" users.  This has been shown to ultimately undermine romantic outcomes.  For dating apps like Tinder this is extremely valid.  In Tinder, a user either swipes left or right based on a couple of pictures and a short bio that many people do not even have.  Are we really basing our choice in who we think we could fall in love with on such a superficial trait?
     Secondly, it is written that the CMC that is available through these online date sites really only increases attraction if it is only used for a short period of time.  It can also be potentially fatal to the formation of a relationship if it leads to high expectations that are not met when first meeting face to face.  I personally can see the truth in this because I love talking online.  When I talk online there is no synchrony.  This means that I have time to think of hilarious responses.  It also makes me feel more confident because I don't have to actually see their reactions to what I say.  Overall this leads to me being a much more outgoing and sociable person on the internet compared to in real life.  This is why I could never do online dating because I have a feeling that a guy may be attracted to me when I chat online with him, and then I won't hear back from him ever again after our first most likely awkward date.  Oh well.
     The last flaw that's mentioned is that it is doubtful that there is actually any scientific matching algorithm that is based on data that has been collected before people have met that can effectively decided if they are compatible.  So online dating is not a concrete and scientific process.  Everyone has different tastes for the qualities he or she wants in a significant other, and it is way too complex for a computer to be able to guess who would be perfect for whom.
However there is one last point made that could either be a horrible flaw or an amazing strength, depending on your point of view.  Casual sex has never been so easily obtained!  It is stated that "Those who are on dating websites in search not of lasting commitment, but simply "a good time," tend to have better luck."  Now this is great for young people who are not yet ready to settle down, but what about the others?  In this amusing but kind of sad story, a 31 year old online dating user said “I was genuinely trying to meet people I’d click with and want to hang out with again.  But I ended up having what would probably be considered a ‘high quantity of sex’ (at least according to my GP) as a side effect.”
     In the end, I think it's safe to say that the idea of online dating is all up to personal preference and what you're looking for. While some people have had amazing luck with it, others had to endure dating disasters.  In either case, it seems as though online dating is going to continue to grow exponentially.

No comments:

Post a Comment